Meat and Potatoes ©
2009
(A horror story with a happy ending, based on an argument
with a friend)
I was talking, one day, with an old friend
About the virtues of not eating meat
But he chuckled as if I was crazy
And said “But we’ve all
got to eat”
I replied “Yeah, but
that’s just the trouble:
In order for you to have steak,
Ten children will die of starvation
And the hearts of their mothers
will break,
“Cause the food that it takes
to grow one cow
Could feed a whole suburb for days
And thousands of tons of potatoes
Could be grown where that cow
needs to graze”
“But what about
all of the farmers,
If they couldn’t breed cattle?” he said
“The land then, at last, would
recover
And they could grow soy beans
instead”
“But farming is
perfectly natural
What harm does it do to the land?”
“
That sheep and goats turned
into sand..
“To produce just
one kilo of mutton..”
(Or two pounds, for you old-fashioned Yanks)
“Takes TEN THOUSAND litres of
water..”
(That’s one thousand two gallon tanks)
“But dairy and
meat manufacture
Is nearly as old as the stars…”
“Yet it liberates
more greenhouse gases
Than ALL of the trucks
and the cars!”
“But in order
to be strong and healthy
You’ve got to eat meat, don’t
you think?”
“No, you’ll die
young of cancer or heartache
And meanwhile your body will
stink”
He looked like he’d just been assaulted
I assured him that wasn’t the case
He said “I’ll be buggered!” and
pondered
A questioning look on his face
“But why were
the animals put here,
If it wasn’t for people
to eat?”
I said “Well then,
why were WE put here?
Were we also meant to be meat?..
“Plus, they were here long before we were
An’ we only ate fruit we picked
fresh.
It wasn’t ‘til fire was discovered
That we could digest (or chew)
flesh”
“Mmm,
maybe so..” he responded
“But animals don’t
have a soul..”
My Catholic friend had been brainwashed
By the powers that stay in control.
“So, that’s your
excuse” I resounded
“You pretend that they don’t
think or feel,
So then you can murder their
babies
To enjoy eating lamb chops and
veal..
“Cause mammals ALL feel true
emotions
And fish even feel dreadful
pain
And maybe they don’t think like
we do
But they still have nerves and
a brain”
He smirked and said “Chickens are
stupid.
So surely they’re meant to be
food”
“No, no they’re
not really stupid
They play and they squabble
and brood
“These darlings
who die in their billions
Are treated like feeling-less
things
And trampled and tortured or
boiled alive
So you can have your ‘Wicked
Wings’”
The argument went on for hours
As we topped up our glasses of wine
But I knew, though he never conceded,
That victory truly was mine
I was the one with clear conscience
He was still clouded with guilt
My view came from love and from logic
His, on tradition, was built
And I know that it won’t be long now
‘Til a new world is free of such crime
And my friend will smile and say “Thanks mate”
It’s only a matter of time.